Give Thanks...But Don't Overdo It: Understanding Politeness in Spain

As Thanksgiving approaches in the U.S., my social feeds fill with gratitude lists, family photos, and reminders to give thanks. We Americans are raised on a steady diet of “thank you” culture, a verbal reflex that pops out when the waiter sets down our water, when the barista calls our name, or when someone simply hands us a receipt.

But recently, while listening to the Intermediate Spanish Podcast (Episode 230), I heard something that made me pause. In Spain, people value gratitude but don’t sprinkle “gracias” into every micro-interaction the way Americans do. In fact, saying thank you too often can feel overly formal or even create a little distance.

That idea stuck with me, especially in this season of appreciation. It made me think about how gratitude shows up differently across cultures and how understanding those nuances can make life in Spain not only smoother but far more enjoyable.

The American “Thank You” Culture

If you grew up in the U.S., saying “thank you” is practically a reflex, a punctuation mark we sprinkle throughout the day. We say it to signal friendliness, to smooth interactions, to show we’re paying attention, and sometimes just to fill an awkward silence.

Walk into any café in the U.S., and you’ll hear a chorus of thank-yous:

• “Hi! Can I get a latte? Thanks.”

• “Whole milk? Perfect, thank you.”

• “Your total is $4.50.” “Great, thanks.”

• “Here’s your drink.” “Thank you!”

• “Have a nice day.” “You too — thanks!”

  
  

Five thank-yous in under 90 seconds — totally normal.

The more time I spend in Spain, the more I realize just how deeply the American “please and thank you” reflex runs. It’s so ingrained that I even catch myself saying please and thank you to ChatGPT! If that’s not cultural conditioning, I don’t know what is. But as anyone who’s spent time outside the U.S. knows, what feels “polite” in one country can land very differently in another. Which brings us to Spain.

Spain’s Politeness Style: Warm, Less Repetitive

When you arrive in Spain, you might notice something surprising: people don’t say gracias nearly as often as you expect. It’s not that Spaniards aren’t polite. Far from it. Politeness here simply follows a different rhythm.

Instead of layering multiple thank-yous throughout a single interaction, people tend to offer one sincere expression of gratitude at the appropriate moment. A well-timed gracias carries plenty of meaning on its own.

Saying it repeatedly, the way Americans often do, can sometimes come across as overly formal or create a bit of emotional distance, which is the opposite of what we intend. A friendly hola, or buenos días, at the beginning of an interaction is often far more important than a cascade of thank-yous sprinkled throughout.

Understanding this subtle shift can make you feel instantly more grounded in daily Spanish life… and it helps explain why your American instinct to offer five enthusiastic thank-yous in a row might get you a puzzled look.

What Americans Moving to Spain Should Know

Adjusting to Spain’s style of politeness can feel strange at first, but once you understand the rhythm, it quickly becomes second nature. Here’s what to keep in mind:

1. Fewer Thank-Yous Are Normal

Don’t panic if you notice fewer gracias than you’d expect. Spaniards aren’t being rude — they’re just not verbalizing every small acknowledgment. One sincere gracias is meaningful enough.

2. Greetings Matter More Than Thanks

A friendly hola, or buenos días, at the start of an interaction goes further than constant thank-yous. Smile, make eye contact, and show warmth through tone. That’s the real politeness.

3. Use Goodbye Phrases Thoughtfully

A simple hasta luego or adiós at the end of an encounter often carries more weight than multiple thanks during the interaction. Spaniards place more emphasis on how you close a conversation than on how many verbal reassurances you sprinkle in.

Gratitude Across Cultures

Thanksgiving is a time to pause, reflect, and give thanks. But living abroad reminds us that gratitude doesn’t always look the same in every culture. In Spain, politeness is woven into the flow of daily life with less verbal repetition and more warmth, presence, and genuine connection.

For Americans, this can feel strange at first. You might miss the constant verbal reassurance of “thank you” that feels natural at home. But once you tune into the rhythm of Spanish interactions, you start to see the beauty in subtlety. One well-placed gracias, a warm greeting, or a heartfelt goodbye carries more meaning than a string of thank-yous ever could.

Learning these small cultural nuances doesn’t just make life easier. It helps you connect more deeply, enjoy richer interactions, and feel more at home. Gratitude, after all, travels well. You just have to speak its local language

Ready to Make Your Move to Spain?

Adjusting to cultural differences like how politeness is expressed can be tricky, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you’re planning a move to Spain, I offer personalized guidance to help you truly thrive in your new home.

Schedule a free introductory call to start your journey with confidence.